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We spend too much time being obsessed with the overall act of being accepted as a person and avoiding rejection that we don’t see the wood for the trees because you’re more worried about him rejecting you and choosing someone else, than you are about what type of behaviour you’ve been deeming acceptable in your relationships. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.
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You need to reject the behaviour every single time although the fact that they keep doing it is a signal that you need to opt out.
If you accept the behaviour that has crossed your boundaries (and keep accepting it and others that no doubt follow), regardless of what comes out of your mouth, you tell them that you’re OK with this behaviour and the boundary is not worth the mental piece of paper that is written on.
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There’s no point in saying ‘I am a woman of high self-esteem’ as you bemoan the behaviour of a man who is crossing your boundaries because if you’ve been letting poor relationship behaviour slide, it is an indicator that something is very wrong.